Dealing with Conflict

Have you even been in a conflict? Find it hard to express your thoughts without being misunderstood by the other party? It is common for anyone to deal with conflict in your everyday life, and conflicts would not only result negatively but would also bring something positive depending on how we handle our conflict.

Conflict is divided into internal and external but in this article, we would be discussing on external conflict where we focus on the conflict from an individual towards another individual or towards a larger group.

Dealing with conflict depends solely on how we look at that particular cause. Negative mind set would eventually attract negative results, a common sense that we all know but somehow things may always get out of hand when we put emotion into our equation. Bear in mind, thee who able to control thou emotion, wins the battle.

Here is 4 simple questions you need to ask yourself before facing or trying to deal with the conflict. It may not seem much but I do believe as I always use it myself that these 4 simple steps are all you need before you cause more chaos.

What

Before we start planning on how to handle the conflict, we must first ask the golden question. What happen? Without a clear mind and conscience, many of us would barge into any conflict without taking into account of what really happen? We always have the tendency to blame others but in this step, we do really need to take a step back and look into the matter from a bird eye view. Believe me, the view would be totally different and how we see it would tremendously affect how we handle the matter.

Who

Who is involved in the matter and what are their relations to you? This is one of the most important questions to answer as different relation would require different approach. You can be frank with friends and families but being frank in handling conflict during work would portray you as not being serious in the matter hence furthering the plot. Bear in mind, there would always be silent spectator trying to make the whole conflict more exciting. Confrontation would always be the best policy but do not and I again repeat put emotion into your confrontation.

Why

The question “Why” would be referring to the main cause of the conflict. To answer this question, it is important for you to be clear with what have happen and who is involved. In this phase, you would need to list down all possible cause. The cause does not always have to be related as some conflict may cause by something you did or happen previously.

How

So the question bore down to how do we solve it. Before we discuss on how, readers must know that there is no shortcut and you need to answer all the questions before getting to "how". Once you have see the clearer picture, it would be easier to find the best solution to deal with the conflict. 

Always deal with the issue to stay professional, do not stray into personal issues when dealing with conflict. Be straight-forward and raise the issues, a heart to heart conversation would always benefit both parties. Be open, true and willingly to accept mistake if the fault is at our hand. 

Remember stay calm, 

Darren Lai